Editor's note: Wouldn't you love it if your boss, all your coworkers and, while we're at it, everyone else you know, spoke in the soft, soothing voice of HAL? Just imagine it. Now try it yourself! If we could all locate and channel our inner HAL, the world would be a calmer, easier place, not to mention more intelligent. Now take a deep breath and repeat after us: "I shall now choose my favorite HAL wallpaper from this grand collection." Well done.